Why Maureen Dowd Dreads Halloween

Maureen Dowd dropped in on Craig Ferguson's show last night to continue the ceaseless campaign of flogging her book, and the talk quickly got creepy and personal and kind of sad, thanks to Ferguson's "hey little girl is your daddy home?" interviewing technique.

Ferguson: Do you hate the Bushes?

Dowd: Of course I don't.... I like to save words like hate, revenge, and animosity for my personal life.

Ferguson: That's interesting because I have read in a couple of your columns, you can be quite tough on men. What's wrong?

Dowd: Well, here's the thing. When I was growing up, I had all male interlocking institutions controlling me.... It was just a way of tweaking the oppressors.

Ferguson: Do you find that tweaking the oppressors has damaged your personal life in any way?

Dowd: Well, Craig. Um, it is true that, um, I do worry that men find me scary. I mean I'm not in person--in person I'm a complete ditz. But, um, if they just read it they might be scared.

Ferguson: Do you think men are scared of you?

Dowd: Sometimes. They always have most scary women stories on Halloween and I'm always mentioned.

Aww, what a sweetheart. She sounds lonely. I personally think she should play up the "I've been controlled by all male interlocking institutions all my life" angle. Men really dig that sort of thing.